Rewriting Rest: Letting Go of Feeling Guilty for Taking a Break

Let’s be honest, rest should feel good, right? But somehow, it often feels… very wrong, uncomfortable. Like, we are doing something we are not supposed to do. If you’ve ever sat down to relax and instantly felt guilty, welcome to the club – Modern Humanity!
There was a Wednesday morning when I had no plans, notifications, or urgent emails to answer. I made a coffee and sat on my couch and just existed… Ten minutes in, a voice in my head whispered, “Shouldn’t you be doing something? It’s not even the weekend; get things done!”

• Ever paused a show and thought, “I should be folding laundry while watching”?
• Skipped the gym and felt guilty for being an “undisciplined”?
• Chose a fun book but swapped it because it wasn’t “educational enough”?
• Turned down rest because you didn’t “deserve” it yet?

Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. Stick around – we’re about to unpack where that guilt comes from.

The first blog talked about how society glorifies a busy lifestyle. (If you missed it, here is your chance to quickly jump into it https://blog.hslu.ch/majorobm/2025/03/19/chasing-busy-the-modern-obsession-with-doing-more-mk16/)
But today, we’re getting a bit nerdy , diving into some science of why we can’t relax easily.

1. Why Doing Nothing Feels So Wrong 

Many people tie their entire self-worth to what they achieve. When they’re not producing, they feel… well, not enough. In psychology, there’s even a word for this: “Enmeshment.” It means your job or achievements start to define your identity. Hobbies? Interests? Feelings? They take the back seat. You become what you do.

Modern society has romanticized overwork for decades. Sure, we can blame capitalism (but let’s not go there now).

A recent study found that Americans’ commitment to various traditional values is in decline (e.g., family, patriotism), but “Hard Work” remains as one of the most cherished values. (Waldman, 2023).

2. Rest isn’t Taught; it Feels Lazy.

I grew up in a household where no one ever offered me to take a rest; all I could hear was “Don’t play,” “Don’t waste time,” and “You need to have better grades than others,” and even when I was exhausted after school, I still had to memorize poems, study harder, and do more.

Many of us, from an early age, are told that taking rest will lead to failure. But what if it’s the other way around?

Research led by Ohio State University suggests that feeling like leisure is “wasteful”, may lead to less happiness and higher levels of stress and depression.
On the other hand, research suggests that leisure has mental health benefits and that it can make us more productive and less stressed.

So no, you’re not lazy for taking a walk, skipping a workout, or simply drinking coffee slowly.
You’re literally taking care of your brain! Trust me and the science.

In the next post, I’m sharing real-life tips that helped me stop feeling guilty and start feeling present. No fluff, just things that actually helped. Don’t miss it out!

A Kinder Way to Move Through Your Day