For 15 years, Starbucks President Michelle Gass has set her alarm for 4:30 a.m. to go running. We surely want to be as successful as her, so we set an alarm at 4:30. Entrepreneurs swear by 5k runs for breakfast; they also recommend meditating, journaling, taking a cold shower… Did I miss something? Ah, eating avocado… And just like that, VOILA! Your life will magically fall into place! That’s the fantasy we’ve been sold. Don’t get me wrong, I can binge eat avocados every day, and I adore morning runs, but none of it defines my productivity nor my success.
The truth is, perfect routines are like unicorns- great in theory, but not real.
Our energy level changes daily, and maybe, just maybe, our routines should reflect that?
Let me share a personal lesson. A year ago, I was working full-time, running regularly, and hitting the gym five times a week. Eventually, I got injured. Still, I didn’t slow down. I stuck to my routine, refusing to adjust. The injury lingered for over a year. What I thought was discipline turned out to be denial.
Back then, it was about proving something to myself-following the script, even when I slept bad, even when I had to stay late in the office, even though the story had clearly changed. Luckily, by now, I’ve realized there is a fine line between discipline and unnecessary rigidity, and I’ve started bringing flexibility into my daily routine.
The Psychology Behind Why We Obsess Over Routines
According to Neuropsychologist Mrinalinee Rana, routines give us a sense of control and comfort, and I get it, in a chaotic modern world, structure feels safe.
Besides, we still need to show up for ourselves and do things that we normally wouldn’t. We still need to meet people and attend events. We still need to work at certain times and do things we would not necessarily choose to do. But we must manage our own time and stop overloading ourselves with meaningless commitments that have little in common with our thoughts, values, and desires.
How to find the golden line? As a first step, try to identify your relationship with routines.
Signs You’re Stuck in the Routine Trap:
- You feel guilty skipping one part of your routine.
- You continue with your schedule, even when tired or unwell.
- You focus more on performance than feeling good.
Next, remind yourself, it’s less about getting up with the sun and more about tuning into what helps you start the day feeling settled, energized, and ready to take on whatever comes. If you need to sleep for an extra hour, let yourself do it. Instead of aiming for a perfect routine, see first thing in the morning what your body is saying today. The key is building some flexibility into your routine so that you won’t feel frustrated or unproductive if you wake up late or have to have an early meeting.
Michelle Gass, President of Starbucks, reportedly wakes up at 4:30 a.m. every day to run. That might work for her, but success isn’t about copying someone else’s schedule. It’s about finding your own rhythm and having the courage to adjust it as your life changes. Let go of the script!
Want more? In a previous blog, I dive into how stress sneaks into our daily lives and what we can do about it.
Share With the Community in Comments- What’s your current relationship with routines?
- I feel guilty when I don’t stick to mine
- I’m figuring out what works for me
- I’ve stopped trying to follow anyone else’s
📝I would love to share results in the next post.
1 :’) always difficult to not feel guilty
You are not alone, we are in this together!
Thank you for sharing your own story Mariam ❤️ it is definitely true that we need to listen to and feel our own body more instead of just following the routine. I think for me luckily enough I no longer stick to a strict plan but being more flexible about what should be done daily/weekly. If I feel tired or less productive, I will allow myself to not to reach the original goal. In bouldering, we oftenly say, “today is not the day”, meaning today we are not ready to finish a certain route on the wall. I really like this, that knowing your body is not ready today and being able to admit it. It should not be shameful, and just as mentioned in the post, it actually avoid us from hurting ourselves and in that way more sustainable in a long run 🙂
Heeey Nina, it means a lot to me that you share such a valuable episode from your life. Let’s implement more often ” Today is not the day” and be graceful with ourselves. Thanks for sharing your story! Have a great Monday!
Thanks for the great read ! It’s a great reminder that flexibility often works better than forcing rigid habits.
My current relationship with habits:
1. I feel guilty when I don’t stick to mine. Still learning to go easier on myself:)
Hi Samet, thanks for such a good feedback!
Well, you are not alone, we have to learn it together!
I’m definitely in the ‘figuring out what works for me’ phase.
I would be so happy to hear more about your journey!
trully, this is one of the greatest blogs I’ve read. i am struggling a bit with being productive recently, and your posts are very helpful in managing the routine tasks
That’s the best outcome, truly what I could have dreamed of. I’m happy if my words are somehow helping you. Just remember, we’ve got this!
Solid 3 🙂
So well done! proud of you!
It’s a great reminder that success isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula ✨
Absolutely, it’s not! Freedom starts with defining what really matters to us. ✨
Felt super real. Good reminder that routines should work for us, not the other way around.
Happy to hear that!
Nobody really talks about how too much routine can turn into rigidity. Loved the reminder that tuning into ourselves matters more than ticking boxes. And honestly if my body wants an extra hour of sleep over a 5k, I’ll take that as divine wisdom…
Well, good part of this approach is that for the next day you could be even more energetic!
2&3, I’m not trying to follow anyone else’s, but I haven’t found what works out for me yet
Thanks for being honest! I think the process isn’t a linear, I had found routine which was working out for me for couple of months but I had to change it, because of external circumstances. I think as long as
2 for me!
I’ve found it challenging to get into a routine that I feel good about since moving to Switzerland – it was especially hard in the winter. Recently, I’ve been trying to write a daily to-do list, that’s flexible, but it helps in finding whats working best for me!
Hey Karen ! Totally get that, adjusting to a new place, especially with winter’s gloom, can be tough. It was absolutely same for me. Glad to hear the flexible to-do lists are helping you find your rhythm!
Hi Mariami, I feel kinda confused and all over the place if I’m not sticking to my routine. For example I like to wake up every morning at either two times: 05:43 for office or 06:17 for home office (and yes, the times are even more weird then my habit) 🫣 And then I have my exact routine and the same goes for evening. Routines gives me some kind of security and relief to not think/plan every day from scratch.
Hi Geraldine! I understand you, having a set routine can be such a grounding force, especially when life feels chaotic. I actually love how specific your wake-up times are, it shows how much flexibility you’ve put to find what works best for you on different days and it still keeps structure, which can be really comforting!
I’m figuring out what works for me – 2
I’ve tried copying other routines before, but now I’m learning to build one that actually fits my energy and lifestyle. Still a work in progress, but it feels way more real! :))
I’ve been there too, trying to force routines that just didn’t fit. It feels so much better when you tailor it to your own rhythm. Keep going, you are on the right track! 🙌
I find having a routine which works for me for the days when I work from home hard, but overall I made a huge progress not to force idealized routines in my days
Hey Kacper. It’s great to hear you’ve made progress! Working from home can definitely be tricky to navigate, but it sounds like you’re learning how to make it work on your terms!