I have learned the utility of asking the “Why” questions. As a result of many situations and incidents, I have found the “Why” question to be the most useful one. Asking Why can sometimes show the parts that are involved in the situation or reveal any details that a person was not aware of before, details which can change a person’s perspective and beliefs, but most importantly, it shows the reason why something is happening.
Myself, I have learned to ask this question through the games of chess that I have played. In this situation, it is extremely important to be aware of the reason why the opponent is making a move, what is the players end goal and, therefore, the answer to the Why question can inform me about possible scenarios and opportunities that my opponent has. Based on these answers, I can make a decision on how to act next and what are my best options. Asking myself this question allows me to see things from the other persons perspective, figure out what the intentions are, see all (or almost all) possible scenarios and figure out a way to move forward.
Personally, I have found this question to be so useful, that now I find myself using it in almost every interaction. Often I am using it unconsciously whenever the reason is not very clear and I want to know more details. A lot of times, I am asking myself:
“Why am I doing …?”
“Why do I want … ?“
In my case, I have discovered that “Why?” can also be replaced with “What?”. For example:
“What do I feel towards …?”
“What is my end goal … ?”
After I receive a satisfactory answer to these types of questions, I often follow up with “How?”. This helps me to create a plan or a solution in order to either give up, that can be the case sometime and one of the best ones, or decide on a way forward and take action.
Simon Sinek, a British-American author, motivational speaker and organisational consultant, also the author of Start With Why. He has the third most popular TED Talk video of all time with more than 28 million views based on START WITH WHY. Sinek says people are inspired by a sense of purpose (or “Why”), and that this should come first when communicating, before “How” and “What”. In his TED Talk, he is talking about the principle of asking the questions in this particular order and gives more information on how they are related.
For those of you that want to know more, I will leave the link below.
Back to chess and how everything is connected.
During the game, the players have to know why they are doing something and what is the purpose of the move in order to have a better understanding of the tactics and see them ahead. Having a purpose yourself and knowing the one of the opponent is critical in order to win a game. Both players need to keep in mind the possibilities that their opponent has and act as a result. Without knowing it, the players just act blind and act from instinct.
In my case, chess has taught me about Why’s and How’s and What’s and gave me a lot of experience with them, in time, I have started to apply them more and not just in chess anymore, in more regular encounters as well. This method can be applied beyond just chess as well, in the course of our lives, being aware of the reasoning plays an important role. There are many courses and Guru’s out there that are prepared to exchange a lot of information and teach plenty of lessons on knowing or finding your reasons, in exchange for a hefty sum, of course. But in the end, there is only YOU that can find that out.
https://youtu.be/qp0HIF3SfI4
